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She’s Got The Mac

I’m such a nerd. When I first thought of this post all I could think of was this performance by Bella Blue of New Orleans.

So what do Miss Bella and macaroni and cheese have in common? I have no fucking clue. She probably don’t even like macaroni and cheese. I just laughed like a maniac when I thought of it all together and as we all know I have a very simple (read: teenage boy) sense of humor so, here you go.

My friend and Lodge Sister, Denise, turned me onto this recipe. It’s one from Paula Deen. I love Paula Deen. I don’t care that she has diabetes and that she hid it from the world and that she takes money from the drug company to be their spokeswoman, ahem Wilford Brimley, and that all these people say “omg she’s trying to kill us all with all that butter; blah blah blah blah”. Whatever man. Anybody with a nickel bag’s worth of sense knows you can’t eat that crap all the time, or they should, anyway. So you just keep on goin’ Miss Paula, I’ll still eat your macaroni and cheese.

I have a couple of notes before we get to the pictures. I ALWAYS use an assload more cheese than what she calls for because this recipe is just stingy with the cheese as far as I’m concerned. When I have macaroni and cheese, I want cheese and lots of it. I also like to use different cheeses in it;  fontina and Gruyere are two of my favorites but I don’t use them often because they’re kinda spendy. It’s also a good way to use up those cheese orphans you’ve got languishing in your refrigerator. I will also sometimes substitute Greek yogurt for the sour cream. And of course, I never measure any of this shit, I just chuck it all in a bowl and pray to baby Jesus I haven’t jacked it up.

So here you go, my version Paula Deen’s macaroni and cheese y’all…

Gather all your stuff. You’ll notice I didn’t use regular macaroni I used orecchiette. Oh go on, say it like Giada, you know you want to. Ugh. She’s such a bobble head.

Put your water on to boil and add salt. Supposedly it makes the water boil faster or salts the pasta. Hell, I don’t know. Chef Anne does it on TV and when she flings her arms around and says “make it salty like the sea”, well you just can’t help it. I do know that if I do it after the water starts boiling it boils over and spits all over the stove, so I do it before.

While your wanting on the water to boil and the pasta to cook, get your cheese and stuff ready. Ooooo hey, look! A whole stick of butter. My ass is getting wider and my belly’s getting happy just looking at it.

It calls for 2 eggs and that’s usually what I put in. Just break them into a glass or something and whip them up before they go in with the rest of the stuff.

Drain your noodles. When I’m going to bake any kind of noodle, I usually cook it for a couple of minutes less than the least amount of recommended time on the instructions because they’re going to keep on cooking when you bake them and if you cook it the whole time and then bake them too you’ll end up with a pile of moosh. Unless, if you like mooshy pasta then just cook it for the full time and roll on with your bad self.

While the noodles are still warm, put them in a big bowl and add the butter and your cheeses. Mix it all up really good and get the butter as melted as you can.

If it doesn’t all melt, don’t worry about it. It’ll all melt when you bake it.

Don’t forget to spray or butter your casserole. If you forget, you’re gonna have a hella time trying to get your finished dish out of the pan and an even worse time trying to get it all cleaned up!

Add the eggs and sour cream (I used Greek yogurt this time) and mix it all up. Then dump it in the sprayed casserole dish.

Sprinkle some kind of shredded cheese on top and bake it for however long it says in the original recipe. Don’t over bake or your cheese will get hard.

And of course, I don’t have a picture of the finished product. I promise I will try to be better with that in the future.

I remember when I was in high school and Roger and I had just started dating and Momma invited him to sty for supper with us  for the first time and we had meatloaf and baked macaroni and cheese. I made the macaroni and cheese, not like this of course, and I cooked the hell out of it. It was all crunchy and probably on the verge of inedible. Roger ate it anyway and said it was good, even though me and everybody else at the table knew it was crap. Now, every time I bake a macaroni and cheese he reminds me of the very first time I cooked anything for him. How sweet is that? I think I just threw up a little.

If you want to see me get naked in public, I will be at the Basement Bar on October 12th and in Corpus Christi at The House of Rock on October 26th as a guest performer with the After Dark Review. I love performing in CCTX and the ADR gals are fabulous hostesses!!! I will also be teaching a shimmy class on October 20th at Image Fusion Studio in Fort Worth. There’s still space available so, email me at PixieOkneel@gmail.com if you want to sign up. I will also be teaching this class in Corpus! OH! And don’t forget to sign up for the Broads & Panties newsletter!!!

Well, that’s all the shameless self promotion for now. 🙂

I hope you make the mac and cheese and if you do let me know what you did to make it your own.

Have a great day!!

TTFN! xoxo


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