Lunch Lady Land

I love Sloppy Joes. I don’t know why or when it started but it’s one of my favorites. Every time I make them I think about this SNL skit and of course I laugh like an idiot. I really like Adam Sandler, my favorite movie of his is “Big Daddy”. Chris Farley was great in the skit but I never could get into his style, I always felt sort of embarrassed for him whenever I watched him. Kind of like he was trying too hard.

I don’t remember eating Sloppy Joes at school a lot and we never ate them at home very often. I didn’t have them as part of my regular repertoire until I was out of the house the first time, and I still really don’t do them that often. Maybe because it just seems like one of those every now and then type dinners for some reason.

I just used the Manwich stuff in a can until I found this recipe from Ree Drummond, aka The Pioneer Woman. My sister Rebekah is going to give me an assload of grief for this one. She despises Ree Drummond. The thing is Ree supposedly lives on a ranch in some square state with her rancher husband, whom she’s dubbed “Marlboro Man” (which I think is absolutely rifuckingdiculous), and has a pacel of kids that she home schools and well, bless her heart she’s just country to the core y’all.  Evidently, she has swiped all the recipes in her cookbooks and on her blog from church cookbooks and the like and has not sited her sources and had fibbed to the world about it. There’s even several websites that have called her out and said she’s just a big ol’ lying bitch. Lying thievin’ whore she may be but she’s nicked some damned good recipes. I’ve made the one we’re talking about here, her mother in law’s Christmas Rum Cake and these pork chops with apples and grits and I’m telling ya, it’s all fit to eat.

There’s one thing she does in the recipe that I don’t get why she does it so I switched it up a bit. She puts butter in the ground beef when she browns it. Now I have wracked my brain trying to figure this one out and I cannot for the life of me figure that shit out. The ONLY thing I can think of is that she uses an uber lean ground beef and needs to add some fat to it so it doesn’t taste like ass so she adds the butter. BUT then she says to drain off some of the fat before you add the veg, so I have no fucking idea what the hell she’s doing. I use 80/20 ground beef, brown it, drain it, put the butter in the pan and then cook the veg in that. If you can figure out what she’s doing, let me know okay? She also uses red pepper flakes and then says that Tabasco is an optional thing. I use the red pepper flakes but leave out the Tabasco.

So here we go, sloppy joes, slop sloppy joes…

Gather all your stuff.

Start browning the hamburger.

Cut your bell pepper in half and take the guts out.

Cut the pepper into 4 pieces and then cut the web stuff out of it.

It’ll look like this.

Cut the 4 pieces into strips and then stack them up and give them a chop. I don’t worry about making sure all the pieces are the same size, nobody cares about that shit.

Chop your onion.

Unless you’ve got made chef knife skills, which I do not, you’ll be done chopping before the meat is done. But if you’re like me by the time you’re done chopping, your meat will be done and you can drain it.

After you drained the meat, wipe the skillet out with a paper towel to get the extra crap out of it (unless you want to keep all that business) and then put it back on the burner and add the butter.

After the butter has melted, add the veg to the pan and cook it for a bit.

In the original recipe, Ree tells you to add so many cloves of chopped garlic but since I’m lazy and buy garlic already chopped and in a jar, I thought this would be close enough to what she wanted. Or rather whomever she nicked the recipe from wanted.

It didn’t look like enough so I added some more.

Hey look at that, I measured the ketchup!

Add the ketchup, the spices and other crap to the veg.

Give all the sauce stuff a good stir and add the meat back to the pan.

Give everything a good stir.

Slap the lid on the pan, turn the heat down and let it simmer for a bit….Y’all don’t look at my dirty stove!

Atticus says “It’s sloppy joes and I helped!”

Get your buns and butter together.

Heat up a pan to toast the buns on.

Toast the buns.

After your buns are toasty (haha!), slap some cheese on that bitch and serve him up with some Ruffles and a nice cold beer.

And there you have it, sloppy joes!

I decided to make my blog my performing website too. I’ll be posting all of the information about my upcoming shows, photos from shoots and performances, and videos of my performances. Check back every now and then so you can see what kind of shenanigans I’ve been up to. I hope you like the changes, I’m really excited about them.

Let me know if you make this recipe and what you did to make it your own.
























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