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They Call Me “Tater Salad”

Happy Fourth of July!!

The Navy boyo called this morning from a very exciting place that I’m not allowed to post on the internet. Let’s just say it’s awesome!!

My Dillon is snoozing safe in his bed. He started a new job at a video game store, he really likes it. He is such a hard working kid.

I’m very proud of both of them!!

Enough with the Mom stuff, let’s get to it!

Potato salad is one of those things people love to hate. Some of it is good. Some of it is bad. And some of it is just plain fucking gross!! There are so many ways people make it that it can be pretty hard to figure out. Mine is pretty good, if I do say so myself. I get asked to bring it to parties and potlucks so I guess it’s not too shabby. It’s like the way my Mom makes it with the exception of onions. I just leave them out. My brother in law doesn’t like onions and I like them but I don’t like chopping them (cuz I’m lazy like that) and sometimes you get a really bitter piece and it just jacks up your entire plate. Plus there is the texture thing, onions make potato salad a bit too chunky for me so there’s another pro for leaving them out. I’ve thought about using red onion in it but then I usually forget I was going to try it and so I don’t buy one when I’m at the store. One of these days I will remember.

I made a batch last weekend to take to Sara and Vern’s for the annual Fourth of July blow out. Sara started having an annual thing on the Fourth because she lives not too far from me and we can shoot off fireworks as long as there’s not a burn ban in effect. Sara loves her some fireworks. Last year, or maybe the year before, the neighbors called the sheriff’s department. You know what they say, “it’s not a party until the cops show up!”. HA!

I didn’t make as big a batch as I usually do to take over. Lots of people take some home with them but it always seems I end up bringing home entirely too much and it ends up going bad. Not that it doesn’t get eaten at the party but I just make so much of it and if you’re like me, you can’t just eat it for days and days. I will eat it where I take it and then maybe the next day and that’s it. If I’m making enough for a really big crowd I use a 5 pound bag of potatoes and a dozen eggs and then you just season from there. I’ve also decided I will bake the eggs instead of boiling them from now on. I saw over on Pinterest how to bake eggs in the oven instead of boiling them. I tried it this morning and mother fucker if it didn’t work. I did it pretty much like this and they were perfect!! From now on, I will be baking the eggs when I need hard boiled ones.

You can use my recipe as a jumping off point to make your own.

Here it is…

For this batch I used about this many potatoes because I didn’t want to have to bring home any left overs from the party.

Put just enough water to cover the potatoes. I do them whole and with the skin on #1 because they taste better and #2 I’ve done it by peeling the potatoes and cutting them up to save time but they take on too much water and makes the salad really kinda gross.

Add a couple of spoons this size of salt on your potatoes when you get the water on. You can steal a spoon like this from just about anywhere. I pilfered this one from P.F. Changs, it goes perfect in my salt bowl and it’s about a teaspoon’s worth.

Put your eggs on to boil (or bake them like I talked about above) I used 7 eggs for this batch. If I make a full batch I use a dozen. Put just enough water to cover the eggs and put about a teaspoon of salt on there too.

Get the water on the eggs boiling good and fast,

then slap the lid on the pan and turn off the heat. Let the eggs sit in the hot water for about 25 minutes and they’ll be done. This is how it says to make boil eggs in my Betty Crocker cookbook. Momma told me about it and I looked it up in there and sure enough this is what Betty said. I know from personal trial and error this is one of the easiest ways to make boiled eggs. It keeps them from having that dreaded green ring around the yolk. But, if you don’t let them set long enough, the yolk won’t cook all the way through. EEWWWW!

After you peel the eggs cut them into chunks.


Then run your knife through the chunks to get them smaller.

When the potatoes are done, pour off the hot water and add some cold water so they will get cooled down for you to handle.

To peel them just run your knife lightly under the skin and it should just slide right off. You want the potatoes to still be kind of warm and not completely cooled to make it easier.

After you get your potato peeled, cut it in half long ways,

then turn it over and cut it long ways again to make 4 long pieces.

Cut your fourths into as many pieces as you’d like. I like mine sort of big.

After you get the peeling and chopping done it’s time to put the dressing on. I use apple cider vinegar, Miracle Whip, Hellman’s mayonnaise, celery seed, yellow mustard, Vlasic sweet pickle relish, salt and pepper. I guess you’ve noticed I use name brand stuff when it comes to condiments. I do not shit around with my condiments, I don’t care what people say, as far as I’m concerned there is a difference and I have a job so I’m not eating generic condiments. I’ll eat generic cereal but not generic Miracle Whip. If you do need to use generic stuff I understand BUT, please shell out the extra and get Vlasic sweet pickle relish. It really is the better of all the kinds I’ve tried.

I used about this much each of the MW, mayo and mustard. I use MW and mayo because MW is too sweet on it’s own and all mayo just leaves it needing something.

Put in the salt and pepper and the WHOLE jar of relish. I go easy on the salt at first and then taste for it again later so I don’t get too much.

Add one capful of the apple cider vinegar. You can use white vinegar if that’s what you’ve got.

Give it a good start off mix. I always just use my hands to mix potato salad. I tried using a spoon or a spatula to mix it but I broke several of them so I just gave up. I also think it gets everything mixed up better because you can squish the stuff and get it mixed in good.

Add the celery seed. I use a LOT of celery seed.

Give it a taste. You’re checking for salt, pepper and celery seed. And to see if you forgot the vinegar. I forget it all the time and then I taste it and I’m like, shit, I forgot it again!

Dish it up in a pretty bowl for the party. You can be totally old school and put some paprika on top and I normally do but all I had was smoked paprika. I’ve put smoked paprika on it before but I think it gives it a funky taste so I put plain on there.


There you have it super easy potato salad. You can add or leave out stuff depending on what you like. Just remember to taste it several times and be careful with the salt. Add it a little at a time so you don’t get too much.

Let me know if you make this and what you do to make it your own.

Have a safe and happy Fourth of July. Don’t off fireworks in Ellis County, there’s a burn ban in effect. Don’t drink and drive, it’s no refusal weekend in Dallas County.

Remember, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.










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