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Torta!

Holy shit its been nuts around here.

I’m sure most of you know we got a puppy. I’m too old for puppies. Good thing he’s really cute and really clumsy and a boy. I have a thing for cute, clumsy boys.

Atticus

I got to perform in the first burlesque show ever to be held at Sons of Hermann Hall in Deep Ellum which was pretty much one of the coolest things in my small universe. Sons of Hermann is a fraternal organization (think Masons, IOOF, Knights of Pythias, etc) and one of their chapters has their hall located in Deep Ellum. It is a bad ass old building with a bar, meeting rooms, a bowling alley, and a grand ballroom thing. They are known as a destination for music, and is one of the oldest venues in Deep Ellum. One of my favorite things about being a burlesque performer is getting to perform in so many different places with historic places being at the top of the list. Needless to say, I would have cut some bitches to be in this show and I had a great time.

Marquee at Sons of Hermann

I also had a photo shoot with my friend Dennis who owns Dennis Hevia Photography (www.dennishevia.com). We shot almost 650 images. I thought I was going to die. I’m not a professional model or even an amateur one and when I got home I hurt everywhere. I woke up the next morning and thought I’d been beat. We did end up with some pretty good shots. Here’s my favorite:

May not be used without permission (thanks!)

I’ve also taken a little part time gig as a production assistant for Cirque du Burlesque which is an off shoot of Viva Dallas Burlesque (www.vivadallasburlesque.com). I do admin stuff and act as a go-between with the talent and the producer of the show, it’s pretty fun and I haven’t had to be ugly to anybody yet.

You’d think with all this going on, I wouldn’t have time to fix anything for dinner and you’d be partly right, but I did find time to fix some tortas.

Tortas are my favorite sandwiches in the world. They are basically Mexican sandwiches on French bread. From the information I’ve read in a couple different places, the Mexican people got the idea for making a French type bread around the 1800’s and panaderias (bakeries) became common in Mexico around that time.

A torta is on a bread called a “bolillo” and most commonly have mayonnaise, avocado, lettuce, tomato, and jalapeno on them. The filling ranges from pork to beef to hot dogs, it all depends on what taqueria or food truck you get yours from. My favorite torta is the Cubana from El Trebol in Waxahachie. It has ham, roast pork, refried beans, and milanesa (fried steak) on it. It’s kind of like the garbage sandwich because it’s got everything but God snot on it. A lot of places will also put hot dogs on their Cubana, it just depends what where you’re at and where the people are from. I don’t like hot dogs on my Cubana and I won’t order a Cubana at just any taqueria, it has to come from El Trebol. There is a pretty descent torta place in Arlington called Tortas La Hechizera on Collins. I don’t go there too often because I don’t speak enough Spanish to order anything other than the torta de milanesa or the torta de carintas. They have all kinds of stuff on the menu but it’s in Spanish so unless I take Roger, I’m shit outta luck. Roger told me one time I needed to get Rosetta Stone so I could eat.

Here’s my version:

I had some of the pork left from Scooter and Tim’s getting married party so I decided to use that for the main part of the filling. I also had some leftover cabbage from cole slaw so I thought I used that instead of lettuce. I really like refried beans on my torta and I like black beans a lot so I got refried black beans (pretty smart, right?). I had planned on making a sauce from some green salsa stuff Roger got from the gun show and sour cream but decided against because it was too much shit to fuck with and this was supposed to be a nooner type thing and not an all night session. We all like mayo on ours and I prefer the Mexican mayo with lime in it but since I didn’t have that I just stuck with Hellman’s. I also had some avocado and queso fresco so those were going on as well. Let me clarify, the avocado were going on for Roger and Dillon and NOT for me. I hate avocados. They feel like you bit into a stick of margarine. I will put a lot of shit in my mouth and I will swallow the majority of what I put into my mouth but avocados are on the no go list.

This is what I did:

Gather your stuff

I got the bolillos from Gonzalez Bakery on Highway 77 in Waxahachie. I love that place it's fat girl paradise.

Slice your bread. Be careful with this part. The bread is usually fairly crusty and that combined with a dull knife could result in a trip to the ER.

Heat up your beans

Since I was using leftover pork, I put some vegetable oil in a skillet to warm up the meat and let it get a nice crust on it.

Oh hey, I forgot about the radishes and the tomato.

Tortas are usually toasted on a griddle but I like to use my pannini machine. It's the best gift my Mother-In-Law has ever given me, I use it all the time.

Brush some oil on the bottom of the bottom slice of your bread.

Put it on your machine, bottom side down.

Schmear on your beans.

Add the meat.

Add the rest of your stuff.

Just keep adding until you've got everything you want in there.

I did figure out it is a better idea to put the cheese on top of the beans if you're using a shredded cheese. I learn better by trial and error but this wasn't my sandwich so I really didn't care.

This is not jazz hands, it's "ew, I've got shredded cheese under my fake nails" hands.

Brush some oil on the lid.

Smoosh the lid of the machine down. My machine is small and the top isn't very heavy but if you've got a super duper pannini machine, you can skip this step.

This is what you get when you ask your husband to help. Good help is so hard to find these days.

Let your torta get good and toasty.

Then pull him off the machine and cut him in half.

And serve him up on your best paper plates with a nice cold beer.

So there you have it, Tortas de White Girl. They are so good, and really easy and really cheap! Bolillos are like 42 for a dollar at my grocery, and even cheaper at most panaderias. I do recommend that you only buy what you’re planning on using because they get stale really quick but, you can make breadcrumbs for other dishes from the stale ones.

I hope you make them some time. Leet me know if you do and what you did to make it your own.

TTFN!

xoxo

PS!!! Thanks to Roger and Dillon for helping with the photos!

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4 comments on “Torta!

  1. Wow! Great recipe, and I love the step-by-step pictures!

  2. Sounds wonderful! Do you think bolillos freeze well? Fabulous picture! And….Sons of Hermann Hall is definitely on the top of a dancer’s resume for cool venues.

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